How to tell a hotel it's your anniversary

The best way to tell a hotel it's your anniversary is in writing, when you book, and again three to seven days before you arrive. Say which anniversary it is and add one or two details about how you'd like to mark it. A vague note usually gets the same cake as everyone else.

In short

• Mention the anniversary when you book, then write to the hotel again a few days before arrival.
• Say which anniversary it is and on which day of your stay it falls.
• Add one or two details that are yours: the drink you prefer, how you'd like to be surprised, or that you'd rather nothing at all.
• Ask rather than expect. Most hotels will do something, but upgrades depend on availability.
• Confirm at check-in that your note arrived.

When to tell the hotel

Tell them twice. Mention the anniversary when you book, in the special requests box or on the phone. Then write again three to seven days before arrival, replying to the pre-arrival email if the hotel sends one.

The first message puts the occasion on your booking. The second reaches the people preparing for your arrival that week, with time to order anything that needs ordering.

If you booked through a travel advisor or a booking site, still write to the hotel directly. Notes passed through a third party can arrive shortened, or not at all.

What to say

Hotels receive a great many anniversary notes. What makes yours useful is detail the team can act on:

• Which anniversary, and the date. "Our tenth, on Saturday the 14th" gives the team a day to plan around.
• What you enjoy. A particular champagne, or none at all. Savoury rather than sweet. The red you had at dinner last time.
• How you like to be surprised. Some couples love rose petals on the bed. Others would find it embarrassing. Say which you are.
• Anything to avoid. Allergies, dislikes, or the fact that you're keeping it low-key.
• The story, if there is one. "We got engaged in your bar five years ago" gives the team something real to work with.

Do hotels do anything for anniversaries?

Most do something, especially at the upper end. A card from the manager, a small cake or a bottle of sparkling wine are common. Some hotels upgrade the room when one is free, add flowers at turndown, or hold a better table at dinner. Some resorts offer a set anniversary or honeymoon package.

None of this is owed, and much depends on how busy the hotel is. A polite, specific request made early gives the team the best chance to do something that feels meant for you.

The email to copy

Send this to the hotel's reservations or guest relations address, or reply to the pre-arrival email:

Subject: Our anniversary during our stay, [arrival date]

Dear [hotel name] team,

We're staying with you from [date] to [date], booking reference [number]. It will be our [tenth] wedding anniversary on [day and date], and we chose [hotel name] to celebrate it.

A few things that would make it ours: [we prefer still wine to champagne / we'd love a quiet table by the window that evening / we'd rather no fuss in the room]. [One of us is allergic to tree nuts.]

If anything needs arranging or paying for in advance, I'd be glad to hear what you suggest.

With thanks, [Name] [Phone number]

Keep it short. One paragraph about the occasion and one about what matters to you is enough.

Confirm when you arrive

At check-in, a quick "Did you get our note about the anniversary?" gives the team a chance to put anything right before you reach your room. It also reminds whoever is on shift.

Why anniversaries still get missed

It is rarely for lack of care. A note made at booking often sits on the reservation where reception sees it, while the restaurant, housekeeping and the concierge each work from their own lists. If the note says only "anniversary", the team has nothing personal to go on.

Then the next hotel starts from nothing, and you write the same email again.

Say it once

This is the idea behind Nown Pass. You share your preferences and occasions once, in your own words, and hotels using Nown have them before you arrive. You decide what travels.

Wherever you stay, keep a short note of the details above and send it before every stay.

Frequently asked questions

Should I tell a hotel it's my anniversary?

Yes. Hotels generally like to know, and telling them early gives the team time to prepare. Be honest about the date: some hotels ask for proof before offering a larger package. The Waldorf Astoria Maldives once asked a guest for a copy of their wedding certificate, according to One Mile at a Time.

Will a hotel upgrade me for my anniversary?

Sometimes, when a better room is free that night. It is never guaranteed, so ask politely and don't let the stay depend on it.

What should I write in the special requests box?

One line with the occasion, the date and one detail. For example: "Our 10th anniversary on 14 November. We'd love a quiet room and prefer still wine to champagne." Then follow up by email a few days before.

Is it rude to ask for something for my anniversary?

No, as long as you ask rather than expect. Saying what you would like often helps the team more than leaving them to guess.

Sources

• One Mile at a Time, Hotel Asks For Proof Of Special Occasion: Fair?, November 2021